The Gift I Almost Missed
In the Car
I turn off the radio about fifteen minutes before I arrive. It's become a ritual. Silence, just me and God and the road ahead. I start talking out loud, conversational, like I'm sitting across from a friend over coffee.
"God, I need You with me today. Let Your glory show through me. Guide my hands and my mind to make the best of this session. Let whoever I'm photographing feel calm and see You in me. No anxiety during the shoot. And please, get us all there and home safely."
I thank Him for a successful photoshoot before it even happens. I pray that these photos bring this family closer, that they instill confidence in this senior. I acknowledge that I wouldn't be here, wouldn't have this opportunity, this gift, this calling, without Him.
By the time I pull into the parking spot and grab my gear, I feel different. Calm. Confident. Ready.
Not because I trust my own abilities, but because I've surrendered the session to Him. Without this prayer, without this conversation, I might be doing something outside His will. And I can't afford that. I can't do anything, not even take a breath, without God.
But it took me years to understand that this gift was from Him. In fact, I missed the sign completely when it was laid out right in front of me.
Uncle Pete's Kitchen
My Uncle Pete was in his late seventies when he invited me over. He's agnostic, doesn't believe in God, but he's always been generous with me. He had something he wanted to show me.
I'd asked if I could buy his camera collection from him. Not because I was a photographer. I wasn't, not yet. But because photography had been such a big part of his life. He loved it, even though he mostly took snapshots. He didn't really have an eye for it, but he loved it enough to collect the equipment, to hold onto it for years.
I didn't want something that important to him, and important to my memories of him, to be lost to someone who might never use it. Or worse, sell it.
When I got to his house, the camera gear was laid out on his kitchen table. Four camera bodies. A film camera, a Nikon F5. A Nikon D3. A Nikon D500. And a Nikon Z6. Six lenses. A bunch of accessories. It looked like a camera store spread across his kitchen.
I was floored.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yes," he said simply. "I hardly use it and I think you will."
I stood there looking at thousands of dollars of professional equipment, and I thought I was just receiving a generous gift from my uncle. I had no idea I was standing in the middle of a God moment. I completely missed the sign.
Whether you believe in Him or not is irrelevant. God is there whether you believe in Him or not. And He was there in Uncle Pete's kitchen, using an agnostic man to put the tools in my hands that would reveal my calling.
Learning to See
At first, I didn't know what I was doing. I shot JPEG images because I didn't know how to edit. I photographed my son and daughter because I knew they'd be gentle if the photos weren't good. I shot landscapes because I'd be the only judge. I photographed our horses and cows because they definitely weren't going to critique my composition.
I was testing this thing in the safest space possible.
A year or two down the road, we moved. And as God would have it, an old boss I'd worked for, Bob, lived within a mile of us. And guess what? Bob loved photography.
Bob is a little younger than my dad and Uncle Pete, and he became more than a teacher. He became a friend. We'd go to Fort Worth occasionally and shoot at the Botanical Gardens, downtown, the Stockyards. All subjects that don't critique.
Bob helped me understand a lot of things. I didn't have a good grasp on editing, and by this time I was shooting RAW images which needed editing. I got a lot of pointers from Bob. He showed me the exposure triangle. I picked up the concepts fairly quickly, but I only knew the basics. Bob taught me the practical applications.
God had given me the tools through Uncle Pete. Now He was giving me the teacher through Bob.
Finding My Place
My family had been attending Church at Azle, and we volunteered there. I was a greeter. I loved it because I could walk around and say hi to everyone. I love people.
But I was getting bored. I thought about volunteering on the security team since that's what I did in the military.
Then I met Austin and Nic. They were always running around with their cameras during services and events. And something in me said, "That's what I want to do."
I asked about joining the media team. And wouldn't you know it, Nic was getting married soon and moving away. The spot opened exactly when I was ready to step in.
It was all God's plan.
We shoot all church and church-sponsored events. And when people see you with a camera, especially a professional one, they assume you're a professional photographer. So people started asking. "Do you shoot weddings? What else do you shoot?"
I wasn't confident enough to say yes at first. I stuck to family birthdays and gatherings. Then one day, someone from Adult and Teen Challenge of Texas asked if I'd volunteer to shoot their gala. I said yes and immediately asked Austin if he'd help. He said yes.
I figured if we took enough photos between the two of us, we'd be bound to get some good ones.
We did get good photos. I'd even written up a contract, treating it professionally even though I was volunteering. I provided them with what I promised.
Building Something Real
I decided I wanted to be a photographer. I didn't care whether I was good or not yet. If I was going to take landscape photos, I'd try to make a buck at it. I already had a full-time job, so I wasn't worried about making money at photography.
I gave the business a name. Brian Gaylord Photography. Yeah, very creative. I created a website, briangaylordphoto.com, just so I had a place to show what I'd taken.
But I didn't have any good photographs of real people on my website. So I put out a Facebook ad for free senior photo sessions. I figured there wasn't as much stress there since they weren't paying anything.
I got three responses. One of them asked if I'd also do maternity photos. I told her I'd never done maternity photos before. She asked if I'd like the practice. I said sure.
I'm always a little nervous before a photo session. I still am today. But those sessions came out so much better than I expected. I got model releases from all of them so I could use the images on my website. And I got five-star ratings from them on Google.
That felt like confirmation.
My wife's relatives heard I was a "photographer" and asked me to take family and senior sessions. I charged them as clients. Didn't give the family discount. There was a little pressure because I'd see these people during holidays and birthdays.
But then I got a notification on Pixieset. "You just got paid."
That's when it felt real. That's when I felt like a professional.
Seeing the Sign I Missed
It wasn't too long after I received Uncle Pete's camera equipment that I realized it was a God thing. I don't remember the exact moment it hit me. It was gradual. A little here, a little there.
I started using those cameras and discovered I saw things differently through them. I realized I had an eye for it. Not just for composition or light, but for emotion.
I don't just capture emotion. I feel it in my heart while I'm shooting. When I see people in church worshiping, when a little girl gets baptized and her parents get emotional, I can't help it. The emotion hits me too.
You can feel it physically, like a bubble surrounding you. That overwhelming presence of something bigger than yourself.
That's when I looked back at Uncle Pete's kitchen and realized I missed the sign. God was there. He was giving me the tools for my calling through a man who doesn't even believe He exists. And I didn't see it in the moment.
Sometimes we don't always see the blessings that are right in our faces. We live day to day with blessings all around us, and I dare to say there are a lot of people who don't see them.
Delight Yourself in the Lord
The Bible says in Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
That's not just a photography verse for me. That's how I try to live every day. And gradually, a little here, a little there, I came to understand that photography was one of the desires of my heart that God gave me. Not because I earned it or deserved it, but because I delight in Him.
He orchestrated everything. Uncle Pete's cameras. Bob living a mile away. The church media team opening up exactly when I was ready. Free sessions that built my confidence. Paid work that made it real.
Every single step was Him.
The Bible also says to pray without ceasing. And I do. I can't get out of bed or take a breath without God, so of course I pray before every session. I've prayed before, during, and after shoots from the very first one. Not because photography is special, but because prayer is just how I live.
Why I Still Pray
So when I turn off that radio and start talking to God in the car, I'm not just asking for good photos. I'm asking for His glory to show through me. I'm asking Him to guide my hands and mind. I'm praying that whoever I photograph feels calm and sees God in me. No anxiety. Safe travels there and back.
I'm thanking Him for a successful session before it even happens, because He always keeps His word.
And I'm acknowledging that I wouldn't be there without Him. Not just at that specific session, but in this calling at all. Without Uncle Pete saying "I think you should just take it." Without Bob teaching me the practical applications. Without that spot opening up on the church media team. Without those first free sessions going better than I expected. Without that first Pixiset notification.
Without God orchestrating every single step, I wouldn't be a photographer.
I almost missed it. I stood in Uncle Pete's kitchen looking at cameras on a table and didn't see God there. But He was. He's always there, working whether we see Him or not.
Now I pray before every session because I don't want to miss Him anymore. I don't want to operate outside His will. I don't want to rely on my own power when His is available.
And when I get out of the car after that prayer, after surrendering the session to Him, I feel calm. Confident. Ready. Not because I trust myself, but because I trust Him.
I still send Uncle Pete a couple photos after every session so he can see his cameras are being well used. He's not much into phone technology, so sometimes he just says, "Wow, those are beautiful." I don't think he fully realizes what his gift became.
I need to tell him those cameras changed my life.
But more than that, I need to keep looking for the signs I might miss. The blessings right in front of my face. The moments when God is orchestrating something I won't understand until later.
Because sometimes the biggest gifts are the ones we almost walk right past. And sometimes God uses people who don't even believe in Him to give us exactly what we need for the calling He's placed on our lives.
That's why I pray. Not just before sessions, but always. Because I know, I absolutely know, I can't do any of this without Him.
